Heartbreak makes us cry, it makes us very sad. It makes us doubt our self worth. It hurts, eats us up emotionally. We keep thinking very sad thoughts, "how could he have played with my emotions like he did? Letting me go on loving him, when he had no plans of loving me right back ?” The feeling is sickening, you are devastated. You feel less of yourself when you realize that you may actually be the only one whose feelings ran deep, that your love was not reciprocated and then the feeling of loneliness, disappointment, anger and frustration sets in. Why do you have to feel heartbroken .. check out these 6 Principles that could save you from heart break!
1 DON’T START WHAT YOU CANNOT FINISH. When you meet a person who has nothing of what you desire in a partner, be it in terms of their physical appearance, background or their general attitude toward life, but nevertheless, you go ahead developing some kind of long term relationship with that person irregardless. You may realize after a while that you can no longer go further into the relationship, and you end up hurting yourself and the other person, because of your mere indecision and careless approach. I have been in this situation and I realized I could never overlook those undesirable qualities and I should not have agreed to start what I may likely not be able to finish and should have saved
our time, resources and spared us the disappointing feeling.
2 YOU CANNOT CHANGE A GROWN PERSON. Most of us think of changing the person we love. We feel that our love will change them. One lesson I learnt about relationships is that, people don’t change (of course nothing is impossible, and there is this 1% chance). You end up losing yourself, trying to change a grown person who have acquired a particular habit from over 20 years and more, such person may even promise to change, or is willing to try, however, it takes the intervention of a supernatural being to achieve that change. They may even accuse you of not being capable of true love that helps them change. It is for you to understand at this point that people don’t easily change, love do not automatically transform people, change is a personal decision mixed with visible efforts, if you are not seeing any sign of change you had better take a walk to avoid heartbreak.
3 LIFE ISN'T CINDERELLA STORY In real life, do not expect a perfect love story, where the girl meets her prince charming, and they experience the fairy tale dreamy kind of love and both lives happily ever after. Some love stories are not meant to end in a happy-ever-after, you may have to walk out at some point, you have to apply wisdom to know what you desire in a partner and what is also important to you aside from love, for instance, respect, trust, ability to provide for his family, honesty, good morals, spirituality, tolerance and other important virtues. Feelings are never enough, after it settles, these virtue are what keeps your ship afloat. Those who think life is a fairy tale are bound to get heartbroken when reality sets in, because they will have nothing to fall back on.
4. DON’T IGNORE THE TELLING SIGNS. I have been guilty of this. When a person consciously or unconsciously does something regularly, get the message passed. See people For what they show you, not what you decide to show yourself, when they tell you who they are through their actions, believe then and work with that. Make your decision using what you have constantly seen, and not what they keep saying, or you may end up hurting yourself. If he does not take you seriously, he doesn’t show up for an appointment between you too, he forgets simple things you both talked about, he doesn’t call most of the times, nor return your call, and he all of a suddenly became always busy after you agree to be fully committed to the relationship. These signs are red lights, you should try to fix the problem before finally taking a walk, but do take a walk when your legs are still able to carry you. Do not make flimsy excuses for them, if a person wants you in their life, they will put a little extra effort. It works that way.
5. LEAVE ON TIME. Please leave on time, to avoid hurting yourself or the other person. A lot of heartbreak have been prevented by one party realizing a reason to stop the relationship and actually taking steps to end it. Staying friends may be better with that person than starting off a relationship, you had better end it at the beginning. It saves you from a lot of trouble and heart break.
6. DO NOT COMPARE. You may feel heartbroken when your relationship is not the same to another you see and unconsciously compare it to. No two persons are the same, like wise no two relationships are alike. It will be a discredit to your partner when you expect to have a relationship similar to the one in your head. You may end up feeling disappointed getting less than you expected. See yours as separate and unique from any other and think up ways to make your relationship more fun and enjoyable. With that you will have no reason to compared or feel disappointed. Remember these and you could save yourself from heart breaks!
1 DON’T START WHAT YOU CANNOT FINISH. When you meet a person who has nothing of what you desire in a partner, be it in terms of their physical appearance, background or their general attitude toward life, but nevertheless, you go ahead developing some kind of long term relationship with that person irregardless. You may realize after a while that you can no longer go further into the relationship, and you end up hurting yourself and the other person, because of your mere indecision and careless approach. I have been in this situation and I realized I could never overlook those undesirable qualities and I should not have agreed to start what I may likely not be able to finish and should have saved
our time, resources and spared us the disappointing feeling. 2 YOU CANNOT CHANGE A GROWN PERSON. Most of us think of changing the person we love. We feel that our love will change them. One lesson I learnt about relationships is that, people don’t change (of course nothing is impossible, and there is this 1% chance). You end up losing yourself, trying to change a grown person who have acquired a particular habit from over 20 years and more, such person may even promise to change, or is willing to try, however, it takes the intervention of a supernatural being to achieve that change. They may even accuse you of not being capable of true love that helps them change. It is for you to understand at this point that people don’t easily change, love do not automatically transform people, change is a personal decision mixed with visible efforts, if you are not seeing any sign of change you had better take a walk to avoid heartbreak.
3 LIFE ISN'T CINDERELLA STORY In real life, do not expect a perfect love story, where the girl meets her prince charming, and they experience the fairy tale dreamy kind of love and both lives happily ever after. Some love stories are not meant to end in a happy-ever-after, you may have to walk out at some point, you have to apply wisdom to know what you desire in a partner and what is also important to you aside from love, for instance, respect, trust, ability to provide for his family, honesty, good morals, spirituality, tolerance and other important virtues. Feelings are never enough, after it settles, these virtue are what keeps your ship afloat. Those who think life is a fairy tale are bound to get heartbroken when reality sets in, because they will have nothing to fall back on.
4. DON’T IGNORE THE TELLING SIGNS. I have been guilty of this. When a person consciously or unconsciously does something regularly, get the message passed. See people For what they show you, not what you decide to show yourself, when they tell you who they are through their actions, believe then and work with that. Make your decision using what you have constantly seen, and not what they keep saying, or you may end up hurting yourself. If he does not take you seriously, he doesn’t show up for an appointment between you too, he forgets simple things you both talked about, he doesn’t call most of the times, nor return your call, and he all of a suddenly became always busy after you agree to be fully committed to the relationship. These signs are red lights, you should try to fix the problem before finally taking a walk, but do take a walk when your legs are still able to carry you. Do not make flimsy excuses for them, if a person wants you in their life, they will put a little extra effort. It works that way.
5. LEAVE ON TIME. Please leave on time, to avoid hurting yourself or the other person. A lot of heartbreak have been prevented by one party realizing a reason to stop the relationship and actually taking steps to end it. Staying friends may be better with that person than starting off a relationship, you had better end it at the beginning. It saves you from a lot of trouble and heart break.
6. DO NOT COMPARE. You may feel heartbroken when your relationship is not the same to another you see and unconsciously compare it to. No two persons are the same, like wise no two relationships are alike. It will be a discredit to your partner when you expect to have a relationship similar to the one in your head. You may end up feeling disappointed getting less than you expected. See yours as separate and unique from any other and think up ways to make your relationship more fun and enjoyable. With that you will have no reason to compared or feel disappointed. Remember these and you could save yourself from heart breaks!
I hate to say this out, but I'm guilty of a few pointers here and reading this gives a renewed kind of energy in dealing with heart breaks. Well done dear.
ReplyDeleteSo true. Bless you, dear
ReplyDelete