When we talk about "Women Empowerment", we do not mean we plan to carry out a coup on the male folk! We merely envision a society where everyone is giving equal consideration regardless of sex. We talk about a society where the female folks stand tall and live up to their potentials, refusing to keep silent when harassed or oppressed merely because they are the 'weaker sex'. We mean that women should step out of the box the society has enclosed them in, and build a world for themselves! This is all about self-realisation,and self fulfilment.
Its, really not about the male folks in the way some persons think.
LET'S START FROM THE VERY BEGINING
The African society from the early times has projected the female folks as being less important. They were not regarded as people who should be involved in serious decision making. When decisions where made in the village square, the men go, and the women naturally stay back at home to take care of the children and 'mind the kitchen' which is said to be their 'place'. t was abnormal for these women to air their view, they where considered not to have a mind of their own, the Will of their husband was seen to be their Will. The saying that
"Women are to be seen and not heard" was enthusiastically upheld. They were considered to be 'properties' of their families and were seen as means of money making, they were given out to so called wealthy men who could take care of their families, having little regard for the consent of these women,not also considering how many wives such men had. These men also considered 'acquiring' more wives as a show of wealth. Young ladies were denied education,because the society regarded training a girl through school as a waste of resources, as she will end up in a place where resources spent on her will be 'useless', which is her husband's kitchen.
SHOULD WOMEN REALLY HAVE A SAY?
Women are first humans, then Women. Just as Men are first humans and then, Men. We all have our rights enshrined in the Nigeria Constitution, and same constitution stipulates that no one should be discriminated by reason of race, religion, sex etc. In those early days, women are referred to as 'weaker sex', in the wrong kind of way, and only used to satisfy the sexual desires of the opposites sex, only then are they permitted to be heard, when they make moaning sexual sounds or in the course of childbirth, screaming loud as the child is brought into the world. Only then, Then everyone is happy. Except the women of course.
Women, 'surprisingly' for most, have a mind of their own,they also have hearts, they do have dreams too, they have passions and desires, they also have thoughts, about family, their children, their parents, they think about the future. They make plans and hope to be great someday. Some men say things like when they get married their wife will not work because they will provide everything she needs, she will stay at home and take care of 'their' children. Have they stopped to ponder on what these needs of hers are? Before thinking about suggesting they stay at home and agreeing to providing these needs?
This may be due to the misconception of what a lady needs. It has been wrongly concluded that what all women need are mere superficial, like luxuries of life, the best houses, the best cars, expensive costume, trendy clothes, to mention a few. However, in addition to all these,there are ladies who also think about achieving fulfilment,using the gifts that God has imparted in them to bless the world at large,impacting the society positively, they see themselves exploring the world, bringing smiles to families, inspiring young ones, being among the leading personalities in the societies, bringing solution to their generation,only then will they truly be happy. Now would staying indoors all day bring all theses? Husbands should therefore create space for their wives to 'shine' and accept the idea of reaching a compromise as to what will make both parties truly happy. Both should be able to live their dreams individually.
ARE WOMEN SUPPOSED TO BE UNDER MEN?
It is a common saying that "A Woman is supposed to be under a man". I accept this saying, to the extent of it reasonability. A woman should respect all men, especially her husband, and not be rude to him, she is to serve him and avoid acts which may make him angry or sad, to answer to his needs to the best of her ability. Women should respect their husbands regardless of what position they have achieved in life, they should let them speak and not speak harshly to them, should cook for their husbands, or make food available to them, should sweep and wash too.(Though this might sound africanistics, but its part of our culture I do not contend with, and I think its fair enough) Should take care of the children also, and proudly do all she can to make her house a home.
However submitting to a man should not 'kill' a woman, the concept of it should not make her sad,it should not be a burden that is made hard to bear,when submitting demands all her strength as a woman, or all her life dreams, her goals and aspirations, then she should speak out with all her might, and free herself from such bondage. The men should treat their wives with love and respect, should appreciate their effort and treat them like partners,they should help often, so as to make her happy to do more. They are not to see any work as particular to the women. With these the issue of a woman being under a man will be a delight, and not a slave drive.
THE TRUTH ABOUT THE SITUATION!
Regardless of all the power tussle everywhere and the show of who is the Lord, the truth remains that men loves women who have depth, who can be a challenge to then, it actually turns them on, they like ladies who can stand head tall and are not intimidated by adverse circumstances, who are courageous and strong, who stand by their words, who wouldn't be liability to them, who are strong willed and have independent mind, who are not afraid to say what they feel, who air their opinion and are brave. All men want by their side a woman who can fight the war of life with them, with plenty enthusiasm,
who they can crack a joke with and she gets it immediately, who they can laugh with, with whom they can talk about the affairs of life, with whom they can discuss current affairs and political issues,and even the world of sports, and all those stuff men loves talking about, who they can tell their issues and get brilliant solutions from, who can bring up their children with firmness and love. Am sure that every man wants his woman to be able to express her love to him, to unabashedly satisfy his sexually cravings,to pleasure him in all the ways, he secretly fantasizes about. Gone are those days when men cared for women who do not have a voice,who don't think farther than the roof of their thatched house,who are docile and without ambition.
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