I DID NOT COME TO THE MARKET TO MARRY!

I was at my "Place" this weekend and had to go to our Local Market with mom, to my amazement, the woman selling meat turned to an investigating police officer,and started asking momsy questions like, "is she your daughter?, where is your house, have your daughter been living in this place, this woman went far as to ask me, onwe Onye ji gi aka?(are you engaged to be married?). And as we were going through the small market, some young ladies selling different goods were practically calling out to mom, asking "is this your daughter? And they kept asking out, "E nu go di?" (Are you married?) and kept saying, "answer na!" On getting home, I realized something about the whole scenario, I realized how young budding girls are rushed into marriage around this place, asking a young lady about her marital status is not in itself bad,but when it is made the focal point, there is then an inherent trouble with it, as these people put pressure on these young girls to think that what is most important to them (as in the eyes of the society) is being married firstly before any other thing. Ignoring very important issues like acquiring knowledge (Education) of elementary issues of life, so as to be responsible and informed members of the society. Another important issue the society should be concerned with as relating to these young Ladies, is her ability to earn a living, so as not to be a burden to the same society, to her husband and the society. If she can at an average, be settled in these regards then she is good to go. She is advised also to do this early enough. my people just showed me that they have this mentality that any young girl who looks "attractive" should be married, immediately! The stress is on IMMEDIATELY, (AS SOON AS POSSIBLE), Now I understand why that fine, tall girl living near my house, stopped school while in JSS3 to get married and was dancing proudly with a cocky smile and confidently "stepping" with her protruding belly, feeling very cool being the temporary center of attraction. Sadly but true, a young girl who is in her 'teen' even who is "20" and who had not had as much as basic secondary school education, and is married to and put in-the-family-way, is unknowingly moving toward a life of misery, untold hardship both physically and psychologically, a life of being subjected to the wimps and caprices of that person that will be the sole provider to her and the children of her womb. An average girl around the age of 12 to 19, 20, 21, is still trying to get a grip of herself, still trying to understand her emotions, to get used to her body, trying to form opinion of things she sees around her, she should be left to understand herself and develop a sound functioning mind before going into figuring how to relate with a full grown man. A young girl is to be allowed to learn and be exposed to critical issues of life before being nudged into a life time commitment, issue like, what makes life worth living, the importance of sound home training for children, how many children she and her husband could conveniently take care of, both morally, and financially, so that they don't add to the society's problems. Parents should try to take up the responsibility of "training" up their girl-child so that they do not keep hoping that someone else will train her from secondary school to university, which may never happen, I hear "secondary schools" don't let in pregnant girls. A young girl is strongly advised to have a source of income, including learning skills to produce "Handiworks" This is highly recommended. Skills like making clothes, making hair, decorating, baking could keep money coming in and meeting her basic needs. Let us not stop talking about these twisted issues of "child" and "teen" marriage, let us keep shining our light, in the East and the West and mostly in the North!!! Its our collective responsibility, to work towards a saner society. So next time you see a young girl, the question should be, "Are you done with Secondary School?" Atleast for a start.